Bill Clark/Roll Call/Getty Images

Immortal polymath Chuck Norris writes a regular blog for Newsbusters, a site built to combat liberal media bias. And as is indicated by his recent three-part series on the 10 reasons he wishes George Washington were still alive, it’s important stuff. Now the morally upstanding, roundhouse-kicking meme All-Star is back with his take on a certain misunderstood football warrior hero:

Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical moments. He reminds me of myself when I used to compete in martial arts. I would spar with my black belts in class, and sometimes they would outscore me. Yet in the tournaments, I would defeat them. My students used to ask me, “Why is it that we can contend equally against you in class but can’t beat you in the tournaments?” My answer was always the same: “When it counts, I rise to the occasion.”

The same is true of the former Heisman Trophy winner: When pressure mounts and the game is on the line, Tim’s turbo turns on. It has been said, “If a quarterback came through with a clutch, final-minute victory, he pulled a ‘Tebow.’” And that is why he is the ultimate clutch player.

Tebow reminds Norris of himself. He has that rare clutchety gene that ensures he’ll come through when everything’s on the line–you can’t teach that. Why, then, is Tebow unemployed? This is Obama’s fault, right? Just asking questions.

There is one NFL franchise that Norris feels could buck the trend:

So what team do I feel should give Tim the opportunity to excel as a quarterback and usher it to Super Bowl status? My present pick would be the Jacksonville Jaguars. Why? To put it simply, it’s because Tim could help turn that mediocre team into a championship one. Tebow works miracles on the field, and his inclusion would embolden the spirit of the Jaguars’ players and fans.

Now, Jaguars general manager David Caldwell didn’t mince words earlier this month when he said, ”I can’t imagine a scenario where Tim Tebow would be a Jacksonville Jaguar.” But he probably also couldn’t imagine a scenario where lethal political writer Chuck Norris was staring him down.

(H/T Yardbarker)

@KingCrab15

It’s a nice gesture from a player who clearly has a crack graphic designer on retainer and always at the ready.

LeBron James :: Issac Baldizon/Getty Images

LeBron James, who shot fire out of his back before tipoff last night, was  given one-on-one coverage — with no one (ROY HIBBERT!) clogging in the middle — when he drove to the basket for a game-winning layup at the buzzer (what a call by Marv!) as the Heat beat the Pacers in Game 1 last night of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Presented without comment: Here is the Pacers’ Paul George before last night’s game.

This is a hard-hitting news story, so I’m just going to give you the facts: An Astros vendor was busted for bringing snow cones into a bathroom stall and leaving them on the floor while he … tended to his business on the toilet.

rina Shayk :: Mike Marsland/Getty Images

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Playing Dress Up

The Orioles sported “Canadian Tuxedos” for their road trip to Toronto yesterday while the Angels wore some fancy fedoras on their flight to Kansas City (which was modeled wonderfully by C.J. Wilson‘s fiance, Lisalla Montenegro).

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Giveaway Of The Day

On Memorial Day, Major League Baseball teams will wear authentic military digital camouflage design hats made by New Era. (The caps available are at neweracap.com, MLB.com and at clubhouse stores with proceeds going to the Welcome Back Veterans Fund.) Hot Clicks has a few to give away. Among the teams we have at our disposal: Dodgers, Angels, Giants, Rangers, White Sox, Cubs, Nationals, Braves, Phillies, Yankees, Mets, Red Sox and Orioles. Instead of running our normal contest, I’m going to randomly give hats throughout the day to readers who e-mail (you can fill out the form at the bottom of this page) me good links or funny stuff, so get to it. Also let me know which team’s hat you’d like in your email.

If you were in Chinatown on Saturday, you might have been forgiven for not thinking twice about the adult in full Spider-Man garb playing basketball with a group of local kids at the P.S. 1 playground on Madison between Catherine and Oliver.

Turns out it was in fact Andrew Garfield, who has been filming the sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man in the city over the past few months. Director Mark Webb, who inherited the franchise from Sam Raimi with last year’s reboot, tweeted a pic of the impromptu shootaround last night.

Day 76. Suit up! Let's play. http://t.co/cYVqucK9w9—
Marc Webb (@MarcW) May 22, 2013

The YouTube user nhkteainc, who posted the video, says the blonde with the golden retriever watching from the sidelines is Emma Stone, Garfield’s co-star and real-life girlfriend.

A second clip shows the 29-year-old actor taking it to the perimeter, attempting a crossover before darting past the defender and taking it to the rim for two.

Supervillains, take note: it looks like Spider-Man can only go right.

NFC players decide whether to answer a 5-yard trivia question or run the Annexation of Puerto Rico. || Getty Images

The NFL is apparently willing to try anything to fix the Pro Bowl. Earlier this week Albert Breer of NFL Network reported that the league is discussing game show-like elements, such as paying out prizes during play, in order to “make it so every single minute of the game has some sort of thing that’s going to keep fans interested and engaged.” Breer also said the NFL doesn’t “feel the need to keep the integrity of what a normal football game is.”

You know things are bad when the strict, image-obsessed NFL is willing to tweak its flawless product. (There’s also talk of designating AFC and NFC team captains, who would then pick their teams. But let’s not go crazy here.) The status of this rumored game show scenario is yet to be determined, but if they decide to press their luck (and perhaps be more proactive in controlling the pet population), the rules would more or less write themselves.
 

Rule 1. Kickoffs

In lieu of a kickoff, the captain of the receiving team will select a trivia question from one of five categories to determine starting field position. The questions are organized by difficulty, with the hardest corresponding to the best field position. If that player declines to provide an answer, his team will receive the ball at its own 15-yard line.

• 1a. In the event that the captain of the receiving team is unable to answer the first trivia question, the referee will continue asking questions until the captain gets one right. Each incorrect answer moves the team’s starting position back by five yards, beginning at the 35 yard line. After four incorrect answers, the opposing team’s captain may attempt to “steal” possession of the football by correctly answering any of the questions.
• 1b. Should neither captain be able to answer any of the four questions, the line judge will wheel out a Plinko board that has been fitted with slots corresponding to field positions. The receiving team’s captain will let the Plinko puck sort it all out.

Rule 2. Scoring plays

After any field goal, touchdown or safety, the scoring player will remove his helmet and report to their team’s Budweiser Select Pro Bowl Hollywood Squares set, which will be located behind the respective end zones. That player will then call on one of the nine celebrities occupying the 3×3 cube structure and ask them to guess the most frequent response given during a football-themed crowd poll that was conducted prior to the game. If the selected celebrity answers correctly, the scoring player’s team will receive an additional two points, and the celebrity involved will get $10,000.

• 2a. Each team will play with the same Budweiser Select Pro Bowl Hollywood Squares set for the duration of the game. If over the course of the four quarters a team receives correct answers from three celebrities arranged adjacently in a horizontal, vertical or diagonal line, it will win a purse of $150,000.
• 2b. Any money won by a team will be divvied up between quarters on the sideline, in full view of the crowd, using a money booth populated with $100 bills. Players will draw numbers to determine the order in which they enter the booth, and each session will last 15 seconds. This will repeat until all of the money has been secured.

Rule 3. Field goals

In lieu of traditional field goals kicked by foot, a team’s placekicker will have a chance to earn both 3 points for his side and $10,000 for himself by playing NFL Assault. The kicker must navigate the field of play while avoiding such obstacles as weight sleds, tackling dummies and a collapsing Albert Haynesworth, and then fire footballs from Jugs machines at a large target inside the goal post. A player from the opposing team will stand at a station above the target and fire footballs at the placekicker; if the kicker is struck by a ball before successfully hitting the goal post target, the field goal attempt is terminated.

• 3a. If a team is down by 15 points or more, it may elect to go for a Bonus Field Goal by sending an offensive lineman into the Assault field in place of a kicker. A successful Bonus Field Goal is worth 4 points for the team and $20,000 for the individual player. Tight ends are ineligible for these challenges.
• 3b. If a team is down 22 points or more, it may opt for the Pepsi Max-Bonus Field Goal. The PMBFG requires an offensive lineman to compete in the NFL Assault with the caveat that he must carry another player on his back. That player must remain on the lineman’s back at all times. A successful fire on the target in the stated manner is worth 7 points and  $20,000 for the lineman, plus $10,000 for the player carried on his back. For these challenges, tight ends are eligible to be the carrying player, but not the carried one.

Rule 4. Penalties

Referees assess penalties in the usual manner according to the NFL Rulebook. However, each time a penalty is assessed against a team, that team must vote one of its own players off the field and play with 10 players (or fewer) for the remainder of the possession.
 

Rule 5. Challenges

Each head coach has one traditional challenge per quarter and three physical challenges, such as “Egg on A Linebacker’s Face,” “Bombs Away,” “Make It Rain” and “Oopsie Daisy!” The head coach opting for a physical challenge will signal such a challenge by throwing an orange-and-black striped flag onto the field of play. The coach may appoint only players that are on the field during the play in question to attempt the physical challenge.

• 5a. Successful completion of a physical challenge will result in a team winning the challenge regardless of what actually transpired during the disputed play. Successful physical challenges are worth $10,000 for each participating player.
• 5b. If a team fails on two physical challenges, a third physical challenge will be a Holiday Inn Super Sloppy Physical Challenge, a significantly more difficult challenge that has been vetted by the NFLPA. Successful completion of a HISSPC is worth $15,000 for each player involved.

Rule 6. Fourth downs

On a fourth down with a first-down distance of 10 yards or fewer, a team may elect to Spin the NFL Wheel rather than punting or running a play from scrimmage. Each slot on the wheel corresponds to a different outcome, such as “Gain one yard”, “Gain five yards”, “Loss of possession”, “Loss of this possession and next possession” or “Automatic first down and a Toyota Yaris”. Any prizes earned will go to the player who spun the wheel.

• 6a. Each team is limited to three spins per game.
• 6b. Should a team desire one additional spin, it may attempt to earn one by designating a player to challenge a competitor in the large octagonal Win a Spin Cage. Once inside, NFC players will have to win a staring contest against Bill Belichick; AFC players must face Tom Coughlin. Failure to defeat either coach will result in a turnover on downs, and the defeated player being carted off the field.

Getty Images

Mark Halmas/Icon SMI

Now that he has logged 18 seasons in the NBA, Jerry Stackhouse has mellowed into a calm, elder statesman–and that makes for boring television. So, when he went on Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable this afternoon, Le Batard and Bomani Jones asked Stackhouse about his hotheaded fighting days of yore.

After talking about a fracas with former Utah Jazz player Kirk Snyder (Stackhouse waited for Snyder after a game and bloodied him up, an experience for which Snyder actually thanked Stackhouse the next year), Stack was asked if there were any fights he regrets. Not reallllly, but kinda (see 3:45):

Laettner and Stackhouse were pretty good friends before the infamous card game fight, which occurred during a Detroit Pistons road trip in 1999. “That was my guy,” Stackhouse said of Laettner on DLHQ. “Everybody made it seem like we hated each other because we got into this, but the next day we were right back together. He had a black eye, but we [went right back to making] salads.”

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Joe Flacco :: Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Sure, the summer hasn’t even started yet, but most of you are thirsty for NFL news year round. So what better excuse to highlight the just-released over/unders from Bovada.lv. Some VERY early plays: Ravens over (The champs are getting no respect); Lions over; Chiefs over; Broncos under; 49ers under.

Arizona Cardinals – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              5½ (+120)
Under                            5½  (-150)

Atlanta Falcons – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              10 (+105)
Under                            10  (-135)

Baltimore Ravens – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (-115)
Under                            8½ (-115)

Buffalo Bills – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              6½ (+110)
Under                            6½  (-140)

Carolina Panthers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7 (-130)
Under                            7 (EVEN)

Chicago Bears – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (-130)
Under                            8½ (EVEN)

Cincinnati Bengals – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (-130)
Under                            8½ (EVEN)

Cleveland Browns – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              6 (-115)
Under                            6 (-115)

Dallas Cowboys – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (-115)
Under                            8½ (-115)

Denver Broncos – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              11½ (EVEN)
Under                            11½ (-130)

Detroit Lions – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7½ (-130)
Under                            7½ (EVEN)

Green Bay Packers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              10½ (-130)
Under                            10½ (EVEN)

Houston Texans – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              10½ (-115)
Under                            10½ (-115)

Indianapolis Colts – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (EVEN)
Under                            8½ (-130)

Jacksonville Jaguars – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              5 (-115)
Under                            5 (-115)

Kansas City Chiefs – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7 (-130)
Under                            7 (EVEN)

Miami Dolphins – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7½  (-135)
Under                            7½ (+105)

Minnesota Vikings – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7½ (EVEN)
Under                            7½ (-130)

New England Patriots – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              11½ (EVEN)
Under                            11½ (-130)

New Orleans Saints – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              9½ (-115)
Under                            9½ (-115)

New York Giants – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              9 (-115)
Under                            9 (-115)

New York Jets – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              6½ (+110)
Under                            6½  (-140)

Oakland Raiders – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              5½ (+120)
Under                            5½  (-150)

Philadelphia Eagles – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7 (-115)
Under                            7 (-115)

Pittsburgh Steelers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              9 (-115)
Under                            9 (-115)

San Diego Chargers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7½ (EVEN)
Under                            7½ (-130)

San Francisco 49ers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              11½ (EVEN)
Under                            11½ (-130)

Seattle Seahawks – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              10½ (-130)
Under                            10½ (EVEN)

St. Louis Rams – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7 (-115)
Under                            7 (-115)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              7½ (-130)
Under                            7½ (EVEN)

Tennessee Titans – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              6½ (EVEN)
Under                            6½ (-130)

Washington Redskins – 2013 Regular Season Win Total
Over                              8½ (+110)
Under                            8½  (-140)

Dwyane Wade, who made waves by wearing capri pants last week, has his daily outfits already set through the NBA Finals.

Buccaneers tight end Tom Crabtree sent out this great picture of the smallest frog you’ll ever see. I asked Crabtree from some background on the frog. “He was swimming in our pool,” he said. “I scooped him up and he just hung out with us for awhile. Returned him to nature afterwards.”

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Pamela Jean Noble :: Courtesy Krystle Lina and Nicole Caldwell

Model and actress Pamela Jean Noble gets today’s LLOD honors.

That massive Kevin Durant back tattoo that was featured in today’s A.M. Clicks? As pointed out by @SarahKogood, the word “mature” (last line, first word) is spelled “mautre.”

UPDATE: Durant says, via Instagram, that the tat does indeed say “mature.”

Kenny Powers is pitching for Florida State.

This might be the strangest one Hot Clicks has ever featured.

He gave just a little too much gas.

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher retired today after a superlative 13-year career. There are many things that can be said about the way he approached the game, and how he was a tough, model teammate who played his entire career in Chicago. But they won’t be said here. We’re only concerned with Brian Urlacher the actor—and in that arena, his career wasn’t quite as distinguished.
 

10. Entourage cameo, 2010

Will Urlacher go into business selling tequila with Turtle?

9. Nike Commercial, 2005

What if Brian Urlacher played hockey?

8. Xfinity Commercial, 2012

Urlacher is here to defend you from DirecTV’s “Big Deal.”

7. Nike Commercial, 2005

Urlacher and a host of other elite athletes looked pretty mean in Nike spandex.

6. Vitamin Water Commercial, 2007

Vitamin Water gives Urlacher the strength to tackle real Bears.

SI Photos: Classic shots of Brian Urlacher
 

5. TNA Wrestling, 2004

Now that he’s got the time, can Urlacher pretty please make more pro wrestling appearances?

4. Comcast Commercial, 2007

Would you rather give up Comcast for a day or get tackled by Brian Urlacher?

3. Vitamin Water Commercial, 2007

Urlacher and David Ortiz make a formidable badminton team.

2. Old Spice Commercial, 2008

Watch Old Spice Swagger transform “Brian Urlacher” from meek to, well, Brian Urlacher.

1. Fathead Commercial, 2007

That’s him in the bear costume.

 
Important note: Urlacher also made an appearance on According to Jim in 2002, but in order to watch it on YouTube you need to pay $1.99, which is $4.99 more than any episode of According to Jim is worth.

Just two days after Kevin Durant donated $1 million to aide tornado disaster relief in Oklahoma, karma stood idly by as a tattoo artist wreaked havoc on the Thunder forward’s back. As Jimmy Traina noted in this morning’s Hot Clicks, the NBA scoring champ recently finished up a massive backpiece that contains a Bible passage, James 1:2-4, which is supposed to read:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Alas, in the Authorized Kevin Durant’s Back Version of the Bible, the last line now says “mautre” instead of “mature”.

Sure makes a Dwyane Wade block or missed game-winner seem more palatable.

[H/T Sarah Kogod/Ball Don't Lie]

Busy week for Kevin Durant. He donated $1 million to the American Red Cross and finished his back tattoo.

UPDATE: Apparently there is a problem here.

This Spurs fan (scroll to the bottom) was very, very excited that his team won, and did not blow an 18-point third-quarter lead last night.

You’ve heard by know that Angels outfielder Mike Trout hit for the cycle last night. There is only one problem, though. He was out on his infield single, which you can watch here. The banner year for the umpires continues…

Emina Hecimovic :: Satio Photography

In yesterday’s P.M. Hot Clicks, we told you about a photo mixup involving Erin Andrews. Shortly after Hot Clicks was posted, Big Lead Sports writer Stephen Douglas let us know that the woman mistaken for Andrews, Emina Hecimovic, was actually a Lovely Lady of the Day several months ago. The fitness model and Andrews actually ended up exchanging tweets last night. … Kristen Wetherbee was recently named one of “Instagram’s Sexiest Women” by Maxim. Guyism.com has a gallery. …Model Ninel Conde just did this photoshoot.

Bobby Knight, Earl Weaver and Lee Elia think this profane and vulgar Lingerie Football League coach is a bit over the top.

I have one pair of Braves headphones and one pair of Dodgers headphones to give away, courtesy of BiGR Audio. The first person to e-mail me (Jimmy_Traina@simail.com) the names of the last Braves players to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated wins the Braves headphones. The first person to e-mail me the name of the only person associated with the Dodgers organization to be a guest on The Hot Clicks Podcast wins the Dodgers headphones. You must e-mail me and put “CONTEST” in the subject line to be eligible. Do not fill out the form at the bottom of Hot Clicks.

UPDATE: CONTEST IS  OVER. Ryan Broswell knew Freddie Freeman and Jason Heyward were the last Braves to appear on the cover of SI. Kyle Van Dyke knew Vin Scully was the person associated with the Dodgers to be on The Hot Clicks Podcast.

We posted Part I of Kimmel’s “The Baby Bachelor” last week. Part II aired last night.

A bus driver pulled an April Fool’s prank on a bunch of students by telling them school was canceled. Their reaction at that news — and then the reveal —  was quite intense.

@PlaxicosSocks

The New York Times has some of the details on the brand’s introduction, which occurred this past Friday at an unnamed New York night club that was of course described as “trendy”:

When asked about football matters Friday, Burress, a former Jets and Giants player, responded, “I’m only here to talk about socks.” He was quick to dispel the notion that he thinks socks are somehow beneath him, and said if people were surprised by his initial foray into the world of fashion, well, there’s a good reason for that.

“I’ve been planning my sock line from behind the scenes for a couple of years; nobody even knew I was doing it,” said Burress, excited to talk about colorful socks instead of colorful former coaches. “So it’s a lot of hard work that got me to this point.”

Presently, four pairs of socks are available on Burress’ web site; the Spot Runner has to be considered the alpha dog of the litter:

Plaxico’s various Twitter accounts have some more of the stylings:

Love this combo! twitter.com/PlaxicosSocks/…

— Plaxico’s Socks (@PlaxicosSocks) May 2, 2013

Treat your feet! #sockarmy twitter.com/PlaxicosSocks/…

— Plaxico’s Socks (@PlaxicosSocks) April 16, 2013

plaxicoburresscollection.com Take care of your feet! twitter.com/plaxicoburress…

— Plaxico Burress (@plaxicoburress) May 18, 2013

So what’s next if the socks are a hit?

(H/T Darren Rovell)

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

As part of an exploration of underdogs for The New Yorker in 2009, Malcolm Gladwell profiled new Sacramento Kings owner Vivek Ranadivé and described the methodology he used to create a competitive 12-year old girl’s basketball team with players who were, by and large, “little blond girls” from Silicon Valley. The tl;dr version is that Ranadivé perceived an inefficiency in standard basketball strategy—namely, the conceding of almost 3/4th of the court when on defense—and coached his team to run a full-court press designed to force turnovers and create easy lay-ups. The team’s relentless D helped to mitigate their offensive limitations and propelled them to the third round of the nationals, where they ran into a referee who took philosophical issue with the press and called fouls against Ranadivé’s squad in a 4:1 ratio. The team lost that game, but by any realistic pre-season measure, they shouldn’t have been in such a big game in the first place.  

As Ranadivé concludes his investment group’s purchase of a majority stake in the Kings, a small-market team that went 187-371 over the past seven seasons, it’s clear that his skills and experience will be relevant, applicable and, to say the least, much appreciated. What Ranadivé did with the middle school girls’ team is the same thing he has done throughout his adult life: he looks for opportunities and identifies ways to capitalize on them. Then, regardless of the odds against him, he succeeds. It’s more or less reflexive at this point.

In the mid-1970s, when he was in his teens, Ranadivé emigrated to America from Mumbai, India. He had seen a documentary about MIT and decided immediately that it was where he wanted to enroll. But, aside from the challenge of getting admitted, he had to navigate strict government bureaucracy that made it very difficult for Indians to acquire foreign currency. “I actually talked my way into the office of [the Reserve Bank of India],”Ranadivé said. “I was 16 years old at that time. I requested them that I should be allowed to get some foreign exchange so that I could go to MIT. After all the effort, I showed up on the shores of America (Boston) with one quarter’s tuition paid for because of the foreign exchange restriction and less than a $100 in my pocket. Since then I have been on my own.”

In 1985, he founded Teknekron, a company whose technology, according to the New York Times, facilitated “the seamless sharing of data by computers and networks, even if the data comes from different sources or are in different software languages.” This enabled Wall Street financial traders to aggregate and process information from disparate databases in real time. The first contract was with former Treasury Secretary Bob Rubin, who was then at Goldman Sachs. Ranadivé notes that he was competing with “Goliaths” such as IBM and Reuters, but Teknekron’s software nevertheless became widely adopted on Wall Street. In 1993, the David-sized company was purchased by Reuters for $125.1 million.

Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images

Four years later, in 1997, Ranadivé founded a real-time data analysis firm named Tibco Software Inc. Its success would eventually compel Esquire, in 2012, to do a story about Ranadivé that profiled Tibco and the new project it was about to unveil: TopCom, a private social network for the world’s most powerful leaders. From the story:

Ranadivé’s company created the TopCom version [of the social network tibbr] specifically for the World Economic Forum, the organization founded in 1971 by the German economist Klaus Schwab, which gathers together the world’s business, intellectual, and political leaders to discuss common issues. Because the organization has a hierarchy, so does TopCom: The top two hundred WEF members — basically, the people who run the world — can speak to one another on a given subject, and then they can choose to loop in members from lower tiers (experts, academics, etc.) as needed, widening the pool of knowledge on whatever problem is on the table.

It is, Schwab says, a “Facebook for global leaders.”

Tibco, Esquire continued, has also worked with casinos to analyze specific customers’ tendencies, with Con Edison to “computerize the underground electrical grid to minimize power failures” in New York City and with Homeland Security’s National Cyber Security Division on counterterrorism measures. Across this wide spectrum of different applications, the constant motif in Ranadivé’s success lies in thorough, real-time data analysis. “A little bit of the right information, just a little bit beforehand — whether it is a couple of seconds, minutes, or hours — is more valuable than all of the information in the world six months later,” he has said. Spoken like a man well-versed in using any edge, no matter how small, to gain the upper hand.

To what extent this so-called “two-second” advantage will be relevant as Ranadivé tries to resurrect the Kings remains to be seen, but he does arrive in Sacramento with some brief, though successful, NBA experience. In 2010 he became a member of Joe Lacobs’ ownership group, which then bought the Golden State Warriors. Since the organization took over, the team’s front office has made a couple particularly noteworthy decisions: Before the 2011-12 season, they took a risk on rookie head coach Mark Jackson, hiring him out of the broadcasting booth despite his not having any professional coaching experience. Then, prior to this season, the team signed Stephen Curry to a four-year, $44 million right before the sniper and team leader made a leap that would have given him leverage to push for substantially more. That foresight will provide the franchise with the financial flexibility that will be needed to sign Klay Thompson and Harrison Barnes after their rookie deals expire.

On the administrative side, Ranadivé mapped out an ambitious technological plan for the Warriors’ Oracle Arena. He had intended to use data and technology to optimize fans’ in-arena experiences vis-a-vis their overall enjoyment and their purchases. It’s a safe bet that Ranadivé and his team will similarly emphasize those sorts of gameday innovations and improvements as they try to get more fans (however demanding they might be) to show up to watch a Kings squad that ranked dead last in attendance this past season. (Improving the team itself is probably high on the to-do list, as well.)

AP Photo/Ted S. Warren

That he even finds himself in that particular “David” situation—y’know, the whole “roster full of promising yet underwhelming young players that no fans are coming to see”—is a testament to how he emerged victorious in what was, at least on paper, a longshot pursuit of the Kings. Seattle was the sentimental favorite, a passionate larger market with a sports-mad fanbase and an ownership group, led by hedge fund manager Chris Hansen and Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, that was willing to continually pony up more cash to bring a team back to the the Emerald City. For much of the negotiations, every indication was that the Seattle group was going to prevail simply by force of will.

But, as is his wont, Ranadivé found a way to outmaneuver his Pacific Northwest rivals. Throughout the Kings’ bidding process, he and his group worked closely with Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson to secure $258 million in public financing for a much-needed new arena. Additionally, Ranadivé collaborated with league commissioner David Stern to draw up a plan that grants concessions to the 29 other owners: specifically, the Kings agreed to opt out of the league’s revenue sharing, costing the team $18 million next season and an estimated $15 million annually in subsequent years.

Conventional wisdom would suggest that this forfeiture, and the hellacious amount of work ahead necessary to overhaul the entire organization, would result in a competitive disadvantage for the small-market Kings. And conventional wisdom would be correct. But we’ve learned time and again that competitive disadvantages bring out the best in Vivek Ranadivé. Sacramento’s situation makes it an unquestionable underdog for the foreseeable future—and that should make every other team in the league uneasy.

Xbox Live

Microsoft unveiled its new console today at a news event broadcast live from the company’s campus in Redmond, Wash. There were video appearances by Roger Goodell, Lionel Messi, Steven Spielberg, J.J. Abrams and RGIII. You can watch the entire reveal here (scroll ahead to the 39:20 mark) or read ahead for the CliffsNotes reason of what we learned.

1. It’s called Xbox One.

Not “Durango”, the widely-known code name. Not the iterative “Xbox 720″, which had emerged the hottest search term for intel on the system. Not “Xbox Infinity”, “Xbox Fusion” or “Xbox 8″. In the end, simplicity reigned.

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2. It will be out worldwide this year.

No official date (or price) was given, but Microsoft said it’s latest entrant in the console wars will be released “around the world later this year,” surely in time to join the Sony PlayStation 4 in stores this holiday season—most likely before Thanksgiving.

3. The hardware is ample.

The system will include a 1080p HD RGB camera, 30 FPS Color, Time of Flight (TOF) Technology, Microphone Arrays, a Blu-ray Drive, Kinect 2.0 and Interactive TV, in addition to 8GB RAM, an 8-core CPU, a 500GB hard drive, both HDMI in and out and a USB 3.0 port. All that might not mean much to casual gamers, but it puts it roughly on a par with the announced specs for Sony’s forthcoming console.

4. You’ll be able to have a “relationship” with your TV.

Xbox One is a TV tuner and cable box, making little secret of Microsoft’s plan to take over your living room. The early segments of Tuesday’s announcement dealt heavily with the various gestures and voice controls players can use to interact with the console (e.g. “Xbox, on” to start up or “Xbox, watch TV” to switch on the television). The simple set of commands will enable users to switch between music, videos, apps, OS and games nearly instantaneously, an innovation known as Snap Mode. As the just-released Xbox Anthem vid puts it: It’s going to recognize your name, your voice, your friends, your family, your movies. You. Kind of creepy, actually, but cool just the same.

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5. Xbox has partnered with the NFL.

A new deal with the NFL — Roger Goodell even made a cameo – seems like a win for sports fans. Players will be able to watch NFL games, track their fantasy team and taunt their friends via Skype all on one screen.

6. Much more for sports fans.

The emphasis on sports may have unnerved some gaming writers, but it was hard not to get excited for the announcement of EA Sports Ignite, a game engine designed specifically for high-end sports titles that promises to improve the current animation depth and detail tenfold. Four games powered by the engine will be released in the next year: FIFA, Madden NFL, NBA Live and UFC. The publisher even enlisted a handful of top-flight athletes — including Lionel Messi, Kyrie Irving, Robert Griffin III and Jon Jones — for a short promotional video showcasing the new technology.

The non-EA Sports title Forza Motorsports 5 is also coming exclusively to Xbox One and will be available at launch.

7. There’s a live-action Halo TV series and Steven Spielberg is involved.

The Oscar-winning filmmaker has signed on as an executive producer for an original series based on the Xbox-exclusive first-person shooter.

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The surprise announcement came from Nancy Tellum, Microsoft’s entertainment and digital media president, who said the forthcoming project will marge “the storytelling magic of television with the interactive innovation of Xbox One.”

8. They mentioned actual video games, too.

Many dedicated gamers and industry pundits were concerned Microsoft would use Tuesday’s announcement to hawk the console’s media features rather than show, you know, actual video games. The company announced that it would be releasing 15 exclusive titles, eight of which are new properties, in the first year of launch. Chief among them was an exclusive deal with Activision for Call of Duty: Ghosts, but this trailer for Quantum Break (which seems to be a live-action TV show that will blend with the game) is being touted as a “revolutionary gaming experience.”

9. It won’t be always-online, but it will restrict used games.

Xbox One won’t require an Internet connection at all times to function, assuaging the fears of some gamers. All titles will have to be installed on the hard drive, however, meaning used games will likely require a fee to be activated.

10. It won’t be backwards-compatible with Xbox 360 games.

This wasn’t mentioned in the Xbox presentation, but Polygon reported it today.

11. Same controller, new features.

Microsoft said the Xbox One controller features 40 new design features, including impulse triggers, Wi-Fi direct radio stack and a precision directional pad.

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12. Xbox Live is getting an upgrade.

A total of 500 servers powered Xbox Live for the original Xbox, with 15,000 for Xbox 360. That number will soar to 300,000 for Xbox One.

13. Sony’s stock rose 8 percent almost immediately after the reveal.

Maybe not the response Microsoft wanted.