Posted December 22, 2013 12:31 PM
Updated December 23, 2013 8:02 PM

Let’s Go Bowling

screencap via SBNation

screencap via SBNation

Let’s kick off our bowl coverage with an important question: Is the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl’s mascot (a) Cute (b) Creepy (c) A serial killer? Here’s a closer look at the sinister stem tuber.

And, on to the game action:

Buffalo’s onside kick attempt in the Potato Bowl encapsulates the team’s performance in its 49-24 defeat against San Diego State … Bowl season started properly with a massive comeback/collapse, as Colorado State scored 18 points in the final three minutes to defeat Washington State in the New Mexico Bowl, highlighted by Donnell Alexander’s diving score on this Statue of Liberty play … The glorious return of CSU’s “Ram Boy … CSU’s defensive line coach forgot to watch his mouth, but the cameras didn’t … Tulane fell short in its comeback bid against Louisiana-Lafayette, which was aided by this clumsy Terrance Broadway interception on an attempt to throw it out of bounds.


The Beard Bites Back


Following a heartbreaking late-game collapse in a loss to No. 3 Ohio State, bearded Notre Dame center Garrick Sherman was in no mood for Doug Gottlieb‘s putdown of his face mane, leading to a Twitter exchange that peaked with Sherman taking a shot at Gottlieb for an old transgression.


Dwyane Wade Made a Couple Purchases


Congrats to Wade, who is now engaged to Gabrielle Union. She’s going to need a small dumbbell for her other hand in order to walk straight. I’d take a guess at the karats of that rock, but I’m not sure I have enough money to even look at that thing. In other news about Wade’s purchasing power, take a look at the Heat crew wearing Masters-inspired green championship jackets he bought for each player. (Bonus: Bosh in a Christmas sweater with the newly-engaged couple).


Fear of Missing Football


Every football fan has endured the horror of an obligation or intervention keeping them from watching a big game; only the most resilient of us have risen to the occasion and found a way to follow the action. Now we want to publish your accounts of inspired resourcefulness. Read my tale of misery and triumph, and then send yours to EMfootballstories@gmail.com. We’ll post the best ones.


Cheerleader of the Week

To the heartland we go this week, where we meet Topeka native Emily Burkett, a junior pre-physical therapy major and a member of Kansas’s Rock Chalk Dancers.

My friends would be surprised to know: “I had a dinosaur obsession as a child—I wanted to be an archaeologist when I grew up.”

Coolest person that follows me on Twitter: “Just about every frozen yogurt place in Lawrence follows me. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.”

Worst habit: “Falling asleep during movies. It’s impressive how fast I can fall asleep.”

Favorite pro sports team: “The Celtics. I love watching basketball and have always been a Paul Pierce fan. I don’t know what I’m going to do now that he’s playing for the Nets!”

To see more of Emily, check out her full gallery.


Tyke Tossing


It’s a future Olympic sport currently enjoyed by fathers of young children everywhere. Here’s Auburn’s offensive coordinator Rhett Lashlee training his tossing pins, i.e., kids.


Count ‘Em Down


The 113 best sports moments of 2013, in exactly the right order. When you’re done reliving those, head over to The Big Lead and enjoy the most popular NFL touchdown celebrations of the year.


Ill-Advised Teaser


RJ Bell wrote a column exploring “How the Cowboys Make Gamblers Feel,” which makes me feel a little less horrible about using Dallas in last week’s teaser, because gambling misery is less miserable with company. I will sooner attempt to juggle with an apple, a cattle prod, and a machete than put a dime near the Cowboys (or Lions).

I’ve got a more sane pick this week: Cincinnati (-8) and Seattle (-9.5). The Bengals are undefeated at home and will stack the box against Peterson, forcing Matt Cassel to beat them. That’s a thought that should have you salivating. Meanwhile, Carson “Not Exactly Mobile” Palmer is going to question his return from retirement a couple years ago after Seattle puts him on his back half a dozen times. The Seahawks have a chance to clinch home field advantage today, so let’s keep calm and engage beast mode. That’s: Cincy -2, Seattle -3.5. (Season: 3-4).


Odds & Ends


Charlotte unveiled its new Hornets logo, effective at the end of this season … Blake Griffin with the big time crossover … On Friday night the U.S. and Canada’s women’s hockey teams brawled for the second time in three monthsBirdman and Cash Money Records want in on the sports agency thing, and we pray for the headline “Birdman Signs Birdman” … Joe Flacco played the lottery because old habits die hard … People just can’t control themselves when new Jordans go on sale … One of the most ridiculous own-goals you will ever see … Kate Upton … Possibly the save of the year by Jonas Gustavsson.


Stick Catch and a Beauty


Watch a girl snag Daniel Alfredsson’s stick from about 10 rows up.


Mr. Enthusiasm


Pavel Datsyuk made a cameo in Mike Posner’s “Top of the World”. Turns out Datsyuk is much, much better at hockey than he is at showing emotion in rap videos.


The Great Hambino Wants Your Money

Patrick Renna, who is best known for playing Hamilton Porter in The Sandlot, recently launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise production funds for a feature film called Bad Roomies. Renna will produce and star in the flick, which is about two friends who take in a female roommate for all the wrong reasons. “We basically take on a crazy Wendy Peffercorn,” Renna says. “It doesn’t go well.”

Supporters of the project who pledge $500 will receive the SANDLOT SUPER FAN!!! reward package, which includes:

  • A 15-second outgoing voicemail of your choosing from Renna
  • A baseball signed by Renna
  • A signed, limited edition Kickstarter BluRay/DVD combo of Bad Roomies
  • Exclusive behind-the-scenes content from the production of the film
  • A digital download of Bad Roomies, and the PDF of the script

That’s what you call “value,” friends.

You can follow me on Twitter, and send tips to basmiley [at] gmail [dot] com.

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6 comments
Coachstec
Coachstec

That's not Kapri Bibbs dude.

Samuel
Samuel

It's nice to see the automatic pilot from "Airplane!" is still getting work.

KeysSteven
KeysSteven

"Creepy (FIPB mascot)?"  This, from an audience that goes ga-ga over "CSI" and "The Walking Dead."  You'd prefer it had Hulk muscles, drool like a zombie and topped with chedder & bacon bits?  It's a smiling potato for cryin' out loud.  You'd be a happy "tuber" too with such a gig, avoiding the clutches of good folks at Frito-Lay®. 

John H
John H

Donnell Alexander scored on CSU's Statue of Liberty, not Kapri Bibbs,

NeilJanowitz
NeilJanowitz

@KeysSteven You know what you're getting with a zombie. A smiling spud? Uncharted waters. Fear of the unknown.