Hello, Goodbye, & Screw You
Don’t let the clubhouse door hit you on the way out, Robinson Cano. Already peeved that the Yankees didn’t show him respect or put in any “effort” to re-sign him, the brand new $240 million Mariner got the deadbeat dad cover treatment today from the New York Daily News. Without getting into the merits of the claims in the story, this article probably doesn’t run on the front page in this manner if Cano was still in pinstripes. Anyhow, if Cano wants some respect, he can get it here.
Meanwhile, new Yankee Jacoby Ellsbury was all smiles during his Yankees introduction, perhaps because general manager Brian Cashman showed some effort by getting his wife Kesley a bouquet of flowers.
There’s not exactly a lot of momentum to get John Hekker to the Pro Bowl (he leads the NFL in net punting yards yet he’s outside the top-ten in voting), but Hekker’s teammates made T-shirts supporting “the real Johnny Football” that urge fans to “Help Hekker get Lei’d.” You know what to do.
The Best College Football GIFs
Check out Part II of Guyism’s college football GIF extravaganza, beginning with some guy sitting alone in the stands pouring food into/onto his head.
The Feel Good Section
The Flyers assisted Private First Class Matthew Windisch with a cool on-ice return home surprise for his family … A bunch of kids in Sacramento knocked on their neighbor’s door to ask him to join them in some driveway hoops, and Jimmer Fredette obliged (H/T thatnbalotterpick)… Colts linebacker Andy Studebaker rescued a stranded motorist, and then drove the young man around to finish the errands he had to run (H/T ForTheWin).
Lovely Lady Round-up
Complex has more on Joan Smalls, above, a Victoria’s Secret model who’s among the gorgeous women in Beyoncé’s videos … The 101 hottest celebrity Instagram pictures of the week (and some bonus best not-so-hot Vines) … Julianna Guill from the 2009 reboot of Friday the 13th … Last, here’s Mike Glennon’s girlfriend, who’s got to be about two footballs shorter than him.
The Ticket Window
Get your NFL week 15 betting odds and analysis here. Jameis Winston is such a monumental favorite to win the Heisman Award this weekend, you may have trouble finding where to place a wager.
The Show Must Go On
Come February, Gronk won’t be playing in the Super Bowl but he’s keeping his plans to shoot his scene for the Entourage movie. As far as Gronk sideshows goes, this ranks a couple notches below posing shirtless with a porn star.
Odds & Ends
Jon Stewart is fighting back in the War Against Festivus … Photographer Kyle Grantham took some incredible photos at the Eagles-Lions winter wonderland game … Serena Williams hosted an ’80s party, dressed appropriately … An Italian cyclist claims that Lance Armstrong gave him $100K inside a cake box to let him win a race … Michelle Jenneke fell off a rope swing but remains adorable … A young man went fishing in a sewer and caught a bullhead … A psychiatrist determined that James Bond “clearly consumed what are considered to be harmful amounts of alcohol” … Here’s an unexpected, unsettling mash up of the Sacramento Kings and the Cosby family … the best of the week at Extra Mustard.
Hawks Cheerleaders Spoof Sharknado
It’s pretty terrible, but not in an amusingly awful way like the film it attempts to spoof. But consider this appointment viewing if you like cringeworthy sketches.
TNT’s Chariots of Backfire
Chris Webber, Shaq, Kenny Smith and co. competed in an entertaining 100-yard dash that ended with controversy and only one pulled hamstring.
Friday the 13th prank
Very funny but this is a horrible, horrible idea, especially in a “Stand Your Ground” state like Florida.