Posted July 18, 2013

Tyler, the Creator Now Trying to Rescue Justin Bieber from an Irate Keyshawn Johnson


Keyshawn Jets Damn Ball Book

The Keyshawn Cops saga, that magical gift to humankind, rages on. By now you likely know the basics: last week Justin Bieber reportedly drove his Ferrari at excessive speeds through his Calabasas (L.A.), CA community, leading to a pursuit by former NFLer Keyshawn Johnson back to Biebs’ house. Later that day former NFLer Eric Dickerson, also a local, took to Twitter to note that Justin Bieber does indeed need to ease up on the pedal. This stance generated an atypically underwhelming backlash from Bieber’s unofficial citizen army of Beliebers.

Now the spotlight has returned to Johnson, who is learning what happens when a person enters Bieber’s orbit. Namely, TMZ happens, as it did late last week while Johnson was walking to his vigilante traffic police cruiser / Toyota Prius.

Johnson, craving a return to those tranquil times when the likes of TMZ weren’t “bothering” and “inconveniencing” him, spoke angrily about the danger that Bieber’s reckless driving poses for his own children and the pop star’s alleged neighborly douchiness:

“As celebrities, we want our peace of mind,” Johnson said. “We try to get behind gates so we can enjoy our families and enjoy our lifestyles. But you got a 19-year old kid, feeling entitled, speeding up and down … then you got him spitting on people in the neighborhood–you can’t do that!”

And what about the story from Bieber’s camp that it was actually Tyler, the Creator — and not the Biebs — behind the wheel, and that Johnson couldn’t tell them apart?

“Look man, I know the difference between a black kid driving a car and a white kid driving a car,” Johnson continued. “[Bieber] was sitting in the driver’s seat.”

That would seem to be a reasonable claim from Johnson, but the story took a major, mysterious twist the next day:


So many questions: Is Tyler’s tweet, which came five days after the initial story broke, part of an elaborate cover-up? Is Johnson not as adept as he purports to be at pinpointing the racial identities of young men piloting speeding vehicles? How many rappers have access to Bieber’s keys?

This story is about four days away from being the basis of a new CSI series, and CBS can’t wait.


Ok do you see how the Bieber was dressed last night

During the Ind vs Mim game hell sitting still i thought

He was some jiver (jiv turkey) imagin him going 100 mph

Who could tell??! Just saying.

Mark St. cyr
Mark St. cyr

Key should beat both their asses. Afterwards, Key can slip back into oblivion as far as I'm concerned. He's only a little less of a punk than that twerp from Canada Junior.


You would think Justin would just stop letting people drive his car's by now..


There is no plot, no saga, no anything.

Tyler, The Creator was driving. That's it.

Johnson saw Bieber in the driveway. 

He couldn't possibly have got a good look at the driver before if the car was going at "100 mph."

I think it's sad that people's dislike of someone they don't know means they're prepared to turn this into a lynch mob situation. Whatever happened to America, the brave and the true? 

ProfessorGriff 1 Like

Key, its real simple.  Just slap the shyt outta that boy!