Posted May 25, 2013

Chuck Norris Says He Sees Himself in Tim Tebow; Wants Him to Be Signed By Jaguars

Media, TV
Norris Book

Bill Clark/Roll Call/Getty Images

Immortal polymath Chuck Norris writes a weekly column for Creators Syndicate. And as is indicated by his recent three-part series on the 10 reasons he wishes George Washington were still alive, it’s important stuff. Now the morally upstanding, roundhouse-kicking meme All-Star is back with his take on a certain misunderstood football warrior hero:

Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical moments. He reminds me of myself when I used to compete in martial arts. I would spar with my black belts in class, and sometimes they would outscore me. Yet in the tournaments, I would defeat them. My students used to ask me, “Why is it that we can contend equally against you in class but can’t beat you in the tournaments?” My answer was always the same: “When it counts, I rise to the occasion.”

The same is true of the former Heisman Trophy winner: When pressure mounts and the game is on the line, Tim’s turbo turns on. It has been said, “If a quarterback came through with a clutch, final-minute victory, he pulled a ‘Tebow.’” And that is why he is the ultimate clutch player.

Tebow reminds Norris of himself. He has that rare clutchety gene that ensures he’ll come through when everything’s on the line–you can’t teach that. Why, then, is Tebow unemployed? This is Obama’s fault, right? Just asking questions.

There is one NFL franchise that Norris feels could buck the trend:

So what team do I feel should give Tim the opportunity to excel as a quarterback and usher it to Super Bowl status? My present pick would be the Jacksonville Jaguars. Why? To put it simply, it’s because Tim could help turn that mediocre team into a championship one. Tebow works miracles on the field, and his inclusion would embolden the spirit of the Jaguars’ players and fans.

Now, Jaguars general manager David Caldwell didn’t mince words earlier this month when he said, “I can’t imagine a scenario where Tim Tebow would be a Jacksonville Jaguar.” But he probably also couldn’t imagine a scenario where lethal political writer Chuck Norris was staring him down.

(H/T Yardbarker)

Correction: A previous version of this post said that Norris writes for Newsbusters, which is a site that picks it up in syndication.

12 comments
streamingchurchesonline
streamingchurchesonline

The Jags need a franchise QB....I love what Tim represent but he is not a franchise QB.

dbum
dbum

in todays football news: their is currently nothing going on in the nfl, sooo... lets  talk about chuck norris' man crush on tebow ! chuck norris only masturbates to pictures of...walker texas ranger! anybody got some good ones? ill be listening : )

Ciscos
Ciscos

I'll preface this with I'm not a Chuck Norris fan.  As a Bruce Lee as the benchmark in Martial Arts loyalist, Norris is like a cheap roadside rodeo clown held together by duck tape, bad hairdo and Bubble Yum bubble gum.  For me that pretty much dismisses him, his commentary and his perspectives on Tim Tebow.  

Just for record, I hated his stupid show, Walker Texas Ranger too.

drhuntster
drhuntster

The problem with Tebow is that he would not need to come through in the clutch if he played even half way decent before the last few minutes of the game. You play like crap for 3 quarters, then pull it out, that is not really clutch, that is sloppy. Real winners give it their best all the time. Shame that Mr. Norris does not seem to respect that idea, give it your best all the time, not just when you want to impress someone.

Jace
Jace

Is Tebow bald, too?

Honest_Abe
Honest_Abe

Hmm..., I wonder the politics of the writer of this story. Comments like, "it’s important stuff,"This is Obama’s fault, right?" and "lethal political writer," tend to suggest that the writer leans to the left. Writers from a different time treated their work as a craft and were careful to offer only the facts (W5) while remaining impartial in their columns. Now every story is treated like a blog where the typist offers their intestinal discharge like it is a gift to the world. S.I. needs to call around and hire some of the old writers that lost their jobs when the media conglomerates bought out and closed up the independent newspapers, radio and TV stations.

DjangoZeaman
DjangoZeaman

Chuck is funny...but definitely not a good idea to take him too seriously. He's taken one too many kicks to the head.

BenDouthett
BenDouthett

"...even if he's released."

Please, national media. DROP the Tebow-to-Jags talk NOW! This horse is so dead, it's already been sent to the glue factory!

Badcat
Badcat

Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

d18
d18

Chuck must not watch a lot of football.

drhuntster
drhuntster

@Honest_Abe Check out the title, Mr. Lincoln. This is a section of commentary, not just the facts. Thus the writer is entirely justified in adding his point of view.