Posted March 29, 2013

DeSean Jackson’s Instagram Rules For Men

Keep those stray utensils, phones and limbs out of your selfies!

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Self-help via Instagram is developing into a niche these days. Last month it was Knicks guard J.R. Smith posting his list of rules for dating an athlete. Today it’s Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson with the Instagram rules for men. Now you can safeguard your privacy from trifling women in six easy steps!

instagram.com/jaccpot10

instagram.com/jaccpot10

Ah, nothing better than a little guy code. To refresh:

• Women watch EVERYTHING you do on IG.

• All pics you like appear in the “Following” section. AKA the section Women look at to Spy on your activity.

• Be mindful of the type of Women you follow and the amount of Women you follow. She’s watching you.

• Make sure all photos are cropped to remove extra Food, Plates, Utensils, Phones & Limbs to avoid Questions.

• Comments you post don’t appear in the Following section. They can see when you Like a pic, NOT when you comment.

• Women read all comments other Women make on your pics to determine that nature of her relationship with you or her level of interest in you.

Our favorite parts: The attention to detail, the use of the term “limbs” and the liberal deployment of uppercase letters.

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